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lyrics

You said "How will I go on?"
As if it's ever been my job
To tell you how you're supposed to live

You said "I hope it hurts."
Well, is that how you feel
Or is that how you think you'll learn to feel again?

So stick me in your notebook
Paint me as a fool
Annotate it, "I hope you're okay."

And I wish I had the courage
Wish I was brave enough to tell you
I'm not coming back today

But I know that I'll never tell you
I know that I won't
I know that I'll never tell you
I know that I won't

And yes, I'd like to say more
But I cannot make you listen
To these words you've so long ignored

Yell and scream
Say awful things
Call me selfish and a freak

"You've done nothing but hurt me,
pack up and desert me,
don't come back when you've learned to love yourself."

I wasn't planning on it.

And the silence feels so heavy
I hate the thought of you still with me
And I hope you hate the thought of me too

And these words mean fucking nothing
I just wanna feel some semblance
Of recovery from an awful time with you
I hope you know that I hated you too

But I know that I'll never tell you
I know that I won't
You won't care even if I tell you
I know that you won't

credits

from Growing Up and Getting Out, released November 4, 2020

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The Worst Afternoon Michigan

let me stay beautiful when i am still

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