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Growing Up and Getting Out

by The Worst Afternoon

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1.
It's off to a good start Is what you told me As if I didn't know The concept of good Or bad He just needed Some inspiration A marble statue of An alcoholic dad It's only a start If it tears you apart That's what you needed I know what you need At the end of the day All of the trees wheeled away Call me a know-it-all Because I know it all But they're still learnin' I'm walking to North street Past the signs that tell me I'm walking a dead end road That I call my home And I'll be happy When I reach it I'll be happy I wanna be happier But I'll feel at home When I'm finally alone And they're all leaving Leaving without me They'll call me young at heart As if I've mastered the art Of never caring Of not growing up I want to be A family For the people less fortunate than me I wanna make someone else happy And I'll try For all my life To finally be Young at heart I wanna master the art
2.
I tell you again and again If you were really my friend You'd kill me when I ask you to I promise I'm not scared Honestly, I don't really care Honestly, I'm only here for you I'll make you hate me I'll make you want to kill me Send me straight to Hell I'll give you one last grand farewell Let my body rest for once Send me straight to Hell I've felt like someone else For way too long I'm not mad In fact, I'm happy You're the one I'll see last Just don't forget How I made you feel Until you get too sick of the past And I won't blame you 'Cause I am too
3.
Et Cetera 02:25
Homeward bound Just messin’ around A bit too alone For my taste Cold But that’s how it goes I freeze when I stay In one place If you asked me How I felt You’d say “I’m sorry” Or “oh well” Out of places to be People to run to People to leave Left But it was for the best When someone you know Becomes someone you don’t Please Just leave me be I can’t stand to withstand The person I see Maybe now Yeah, maybe somehow Your painted-on smile Will be a frown But man Who would I be If I wished you were sad Not happy They asked me How I felt And all I could say Was unwell You asked me If we were still friends And all I said was “I’m hoping” But man, it turned out fine Even if you were out of line I’m happy with what has become Of you and me, et cetera Left But it was for the best When someone you know Becomes someone you don’t Please Just leave me be I can’t stand to withstand The person I see
4.
You said "How will I go on?" As if it's ever been my job To tell you how you're supposed to live You said "I hope it hurts." Well, is that how you feel Or is that how you think you'll learn to feel again? So stick me in your notebook Paint me as a fool Annotate it, "I hope you're okay." And I wish I had the courage Wish I was brave enough to tell you I'm not coming back today But I know that I'll never tell you I know that I won't I know that I'll never tell you I know that I won't And yes, I'd like to say more But I cannot make you listen To these words you've so long ignored Yell and scream Say awful things Call me selfish and a freak "You've done nothing but hurt me, pack up and desert me, don't come back when you've learned to love yourself." I wasn't planning on it. And the silence feels so heavy I hate the thought of you still with me And I hope you hate the thought of me too And these words mean fucking nothing I just wanna feel some semblance Of recovery from an awful time with you I hope you know that I hated you too But I know that I'll never tell you I know that I won't You won't care even if I tell you I know that you won't
5.
She told my my head's in the sand, I can't Focus on the task at hand, it's a Worst case scenario I don't know where I'd want to go Maybe on the weekend A trip to sunny Michigan I wish that you could drive me there I wish that you could take me there My walls Are blue My walls Are blue And you Are too And you Are too Is this a state of being? The phone will never start to ring They found her by the oak tree Covered up by autumn leaves Reds and yellows all around Planted on the frozen ground Alaskan summer finishes Schools are open once again My walls Are blue My walls Are blue And you Are too And you Are too
6.
I took my meals alone inside my room I thought that silence whispered nothing but the truth Inside my head showed pictures of doom and demise So it's in your head that I'd like to reside The locks stuck on my door have all broke off Green leaves that're on the trees take me aloft Kept inside so long I had assumed I'd never soar But the blue sky and fresh air make me feel pure I've had my share of death, heartbreak, and pain But the springtime makes me feel new again Now the people that surround me I call my best and closest friends And they're with me through my endless breaks and bends Time will take you to a better place Even if it doesn't feel that way Time will take you to a better place Even if it doesn't feel that way And someday I'll return to my dark thoughts Though months of sunny days kept us apart And the wintertime will hit me and beat me to my core But good weather will come knocking on my door Come knocking on my door, oh Don't let me give up Sometimes it all feels like bad luck But deep inside, you have to know Bad times melt away just like the snow Bad times melt away just like the snow Bad times melt away Just like the snow
7.
I wish I could be holy Holy enough to see The bigger picture A life without you and a life without me 'Cause I've done things I'm not proud of And holy shit, I know you have too But I don't think I could do enough Hail Marys To go on living my life with you Because, oh god, the end is near But you cannot feel the fear The way I do The way I do Because, oh god, if I stay here For another fucking year Or even a minute Oh, I'll regret it Oh, I'll regret it
8.
Time, Taken 01:20
And as the seasons changed I thought it was my time To change and bloom and blossom into someone Happier than me And I waited As the leaves grew green But I was stuck Feeling the same And now I’m stuck With all the blame Because I need to change And I have for months And I made excuses for myself But they have never been enough I became what I Needed to escape Now I’m left to deal With self inflicted pain I’ll feel better, but I’m not in any rush Learning how to be alone would be enough My issues are issues and that’s on me Is it worth fixing them or do I let it be? I don’t know I can’t decide And to breathe I must fight
9.
We talked for hours, and We slept for hours And we got up, and we did that Everyday for a while And we’d fantasize about Leaving town For weeks or months on end And coming back when we ran outta money And we’d do that We’d never change We’d stay young We’d stay insane Never growing up Always getting out Out of trouble, debt, And towns So I never thought That I’d be here Watching you grow old I watched you succumb to our fears what’s another year Of staying young? I guess it’s your choice To grow up and get out So I wish I that I was older At least I’d be growing up with you Or I wish that you were younger We could have been friends for years to tell the truth I always told the truth And I never thought it would end like this Hoping you’ll come back from some bleak abyss When you’re all grown up and you’ve gotten out I hope you don’t forget about this town Hope you don't forget about this town

credits

released November 4, 2020

Massive thanks (as always) to my amazingly talented friends: Kendall, Sam, Finn, Drew, Brandon, Callum, Cayden, Andrew, Gabe, Luke, Henry, Zach, Donnie C., and anyone else I'm forgetting. This wouldn't have been released if it wasn't for your support. Love you guys.

Special special thanks to Finn/Jules Bonnot, for the amazing times, recording space, leads, and input. Sincerely, thank you.

Thank YOU for listening!

/ox/core forever <3

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